How to keep positive to losses and still grow

Publicado por Paulina Robles Cuellar    Sin comentarios

By Paulina Robles Cuellar

It is natural for us to worry when we face losses, however it is important to control this feeling and work to get ahead.

Situations like losing our job, a business, a contract, failing at school or having a disease, etc., generate us a lot of anxiety and trying to see something positive or learn something useful is even more difficult, however it is possible!

The feeling of loss by death is not easy to handle, especially when it comes to a loved one, it is within our nature to work to get ahead, family, friends and co-workers are very supportive too, we must make an effort, take care, fight to go on and after a while we will overcome that.

For other losses, in my opinion, we have to live, analyze and work on them to consider other scenarios. Surely from this previous analysis, we will be aware of the results,  learn,  use our creativity and most importantly we have to watch out our mind as it is the engine to help us move towards new situations.

We have to renew ourselves, life tights and lose things constantly so we need to work on us daily to be able to grow.

As an example, I will tell you three experiences, two from Steve Jobs and one from Giles Duley.  The first two are part of the conference “How to live before you die” given by Jobs to graduate students at Stanford University.

He talks about the negative impact received when he was 30 years old when he got fired from Apple, he could not believe this was happening after being founding partner and creator of Mac computer. In the beginning he was very upset and wanted to stop doing everything, but he gave a second thought and continued working on what he loved most in his life. It turned out that what seemed a bad outlook, became the opposite, he founded several companies like Pixar and Next which turned out to be very successful.

He says that we must not lose faith, that we have to find and do what we like, what we love to perform and do it well, that we must not stop until we find what we seek and fills us with satisfaction.

The other story is about death and a change in attitude. When the doctors detected cancer on him they gave him 6 months of life. After this diagnosis, the doctors performed him a biopsy and found that his disease was curable, he went through surgery and the tumor was removed.

By experiencing this situation, Jobs suggested that if you live each day as if it were your last, it would help you to give the best of yourself and all your fears would go away just by thinking of the possibility of your death. This makes you change, renew, and learn from it.

In summary Steve says that whatever happens we should not lose faith, continue fighting for what we want and in this way, we will love our job, do it very well, break paradigms and follow our intuition.

The third example is the case of Giles Duley who started working as a fashion Photographer, after a while he changed to telling life stories throughout his work, using his art in a useful way and helping others.

Giles went to Afghanistan to work with people who had lived a war and helped them tell their stories through his photographs.  Unfortunately Giles had an accident when he stepped on a land mine and lost part of both legs and arm.

He has an amazing drive and faces life with a wonderful attitude that should be a lesson for us. He also wants to tell his story to help others and even after having that terrible loss he says is not the end of his life, he is disabled but not handicapped to continue working and do different things now.

Currently he lectures conferences, sees things positively and continues to help others!.

For me these are extraordinary examples that motivate me to fight for my ideals, to continue studying and discovering new things, they keep me alive, moving, release my creativity and above all they allow me to have different perspectives to learn how to deal with difficult situations.

Sometimes we cannot work out problems by ourselves, we can ask our family and friends for help or use techniques such as coaching that help us according to our personal style.

References:

1) Coaching personal!
Author:  Richardson, Pam
Editorial:  Parramón Ediciones

2) ¡Coaching para el éxito!
Author: Talane Miedaner
Editorial: Urano

3) Guía completa de coaching en el trabajo
Author: Perry Zeus, Suzanne Skiffington
Editorial: McGraw-Hill
Colección: Management

4)  Coaching con PNL: guía práctica para obtener lo mejor de ti mismo y de los demás
Author:   O’CONNOR, Joseph y LAGES, Andrea.
Editorial:  Ediciones Urano

5)  Ontología del lenguaje
Author:   Echeverría, Rafael
Editorial:  Katz